Trigger warning –
“I want to die.”
I’ve struggled with depression in my past (in my 20’s when I married a man that had cheated on me and was in a career I hated) but it wasn’t like this.
And I remember my mom having it most of her life.
it wasn’t like what I’ve been experiencing the last two months.
Depression, anxiety, and I couldn’t sleep.
So I started taking sleeping pills. 1
2
3
and at one point I was up to 4 pills a night.

And if you know anything about my addiction to Adderall, you know this is not my first struggle with pills.

(Please don’t dm me with help. Already working with a coach)

But that wasn’t the problem. The problem was my hormone imbalance, (which I am working with a coach on now).
My health problems brought with it fatigue, stress, anxiety, sleepless nights, depression, and this voice.
“I want to die.”
No.
I didn’t want to die.
But I DID hear the voice.
But it was like I was an outsider observing.
I was not well but I was taking action.
I’m feeling much better now, but I know it’s going to take a little more time to balance me out.

 

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Here’s the thing.
YOU CAN’T FUCKING JUST TELL SOMEONE TO STOP TAKING THE PILLS.
You can’t just STOP.
Working on the surface DOES NOT WORK.

There are too many people doing surface work. This is what happens when you do it yourself or don’t have a coach that gets you to go deep. (also why I hate doctors)
You can’t just STOP the pills.
You can’t just stop the drinking
you can’t just stop the porn addition.
You can’t just stop the cheating.
You can’t just make the $$
You can’t just manifest your soulmate.

There IS a reason you aren’t where you want to be. There is a reason that you can’t give up the addiction. There is a reason you haven’t manifested your soulmate. There is a reason you haven’t manifested the money.

You want help? You want REAL FUCKING help from someone who knows how to find your EXACT BLOCKS? You want help from someone who can get you REAL LASTING RESULTS from someone who has been in the trenches and is living the life you want?

Here’s the other thing.
It doesn’t matter if you manifest your soulmate (like I did last year with my future husband, Marco)…
It doesn’t matter if you are on track for a million next year…
It doesn’t matter if you are living your purpose…
If you still have depression and unhealed trauma – you still aren’t going to be happy.

If you want help going deep, to heal your past trauma so you can build the life of your dreams on top of you being truly happy, then let’s talk.
No surface work.
No tips, tricks, and strategies.
We will go deep to create the life you want.
We will go deep to see what’s really keeping you from living the life you want and manifesting your soulmate and all of the money.

My clients have healed from past trauma, rapes, abuse. Healed their lifelong depression. Quit their substance abuse. Got six-pack abs. Manifested their soulmates, engagements, marriages, babies. Manifested $20k, $45k, $350k.
Started living their purpose and making money from it.

What do you want? Yes. Your soulmate. Yes, the money. Yes, the abs. But you want these deeper quiet issues taken care of. The things you haven’t told anyone. The things you don’t even want to look at. Let’s do it.

I have 4 open spots to work with me privately over the next 4 months. Investment is $20k or 4 payments of $5200. Dm me to talk about this further. Xo

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Are you still in love with him or are you feeling rejected?

How to get over your ex for good

Ideally what we want is to be with our soulmate or whatever version of that you believe in. We want a deep love and connection with another person that lasts. For the sake of this guide, I am going to use the term soulmate, but feel free to adjust this to what makes sense for you.

Ultimately, what kind of relationship do you want to be in?

Would you call this person your soulmate or something else?

Was your ex acting like your soulmate? (This answer is either a yes or a no, there is no in-between. If it’s a ‘sometimes’ then it’s a no. It’s like you can’t be kind of pregnant.)

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You can never lose love

Dating coach

Whether it was your decision or their decision, it doesn’t make it easier

Either way, the feelings of love are still there. They still, in some form or fashion, love you even though that may not be obvious. Also, their form of ‘love’ may not be a good or healthy type of love.

Just know they still care about you as a person. Also you haven’t lost anything. You still have their love.

Love doesn’t go away, it just transmutes.

How so you still have love?

How can you show yourself love and compassion right now?

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The pattern is the problem

life coach

We tend to blame our partners or past partners for the problems in our relationships, but there is a bigger force that keeps us picking the people we do and even if we pick good people, this force brings us into these patterns that we want to avoid.

We have a relationship pattern that we need to recognize. For a lot of people, they formed this pattern by watching their parents and then they either replicated this same pattern or they rebelled against this pattern, vowing it would never happen to them. Either way, our subconscious works really hard to stay in that pattern.

We go into relationship after relationship repeating that pattern and even if we try really hard to ‘pick safer partners’, we still end up (usually this starts about 6 months in) repeating the same patterns.

I watched my mom stay in a non-relationship marriage where my dad wasn’t around a lot. I watched her struggle with abandonment issues and not feeling good enough.

I carried this pattern out in my marriage and in my two relationships after that. I even tried to pick safe partners that wouldn’t abandon me or neglect me and I still had the same problem.

manifestation coach
What is your relationship pattern?

 

Did you get this from your parents?

 

Are you imitating their pattern or are you rebelling against their pattern?

 

Have you noticed that the more you try to get away from this pattern, the more you relive this pattern in your life?

 

How many years have you been reliving this pattern?

 

Believe what you need to believe to move on. Most people have been telling themselves they are in love with this person for years. Basically, when we are in a relationship, we tell ourselves all these things to keep the relationship going and while those things might have been true and they were good things to help us stay in the relationship, those same things will no longer serve us.

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We need to be telling ourselves a different story.

What have you been repeating to yourself about the relationship that is keeping you in the relationship but is no longer serving you?

What can you tell yourself that you believe and that will help you move on?

What is the most healthy version of that new belief?

A lot of times we remember the good things about our exes and tend to take the blame in the relationship or for the failure of the relationship. We need to know that there is equal responsibility from both parties and therefore there is equal blame.

How were they not showing up as your soulmate?

How were you being available (tolerating) this behavior by not setting boundaries or walking away?

What red flags were you ignoring?

 

After you have worked through this, the most important thing you need to do is tell yourself a different story. Tell yourself the healthiest thing you can so that you can break free and move on. But you need to believe what you are telling yourself 100% for this to work.

Write out some new beliefs below. I have written a few to get you started.

He wasn’t my soulmate.

My soulmate is on his way.

I am loveable.

Getting over your ex is the first step to manifesting your soulmate.

You can’t be with the wrong guy when the right guy comes along.

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How to manifest your soulmate

Become a vibrational match for what you want. 

If you truly want to manifest an emotionally available man who’s ready to commit there are a few things that you need to do.

 

Overall you need to become a vibrational match for what you want. What does this mean? It means you need to be the person that would manifest an emotionally available man. It’s not enough to be wanting and craving an amazing relationship.

It’s not enough to do all the things in a relationship until you are totally exhausted- In fact this will actually repel an emotionally available man.

 

So how do you attract an emotionally available man who’s ready to commit and wants to claim you as his own?

 

First, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Nichole Carlson and I have failed at relationships for over 20 years. But now I have finally figured out how to manifest my soulmate and I am currently dating my future husband who relentlessly pursues me.

In my twenties I was married to a man that had cheated on me. I stayed in that relationship for 12 years before I finally left thinking that I wouldn’t have the same problem. So I chose better partners. Safe partners. Partners that wouldn’t cheat on me. And yet I had the same problems. Abandonment. Neglect. Rejection.

 

And so at the end of 2017 I broke up with my last ex-boyfriend and swore to myself this would never happen to me again. I went on a journey for the next two years and I finally manifested my future husband with one line in my journal on May 31st of 2019. I wrote in my journal that I was so grateful to be married to this specific man that I had been friends with for 4 years and then for the next three days I laid in my hammock and visualized him proposing, and us getting married. On the fourth day he showed up in my living room saying that he would follow me wherever I went and we’ve been together ever since.

In this guide I’m going to tell you exactly what had to happen for me to manifest my future husband, and what needs to happen for you. I made four shifts that made this possible.

 

What do you want in a partner?

How do you want them to treat you?

How do you want them to be when it comes to their business or career?

How do you want them to be with money?

How do you want them to be with their health?

 

How to become a vibrational match is for you to be the things you listed above FIRST so that you can attract a partner that is a match for that.

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How to attract your soulmate

You need to reprogram your relationship patterns. 

The first thing that I needed to do was I needed to reprogram my patterns. I needed to see what I had been doing wrong all this time and what I could possibly change. But honestly I always thought that it was my partner’s fault. I felt like I was doing everything possible to make the relationship work and he wasn’t really trying.

And honestly I was putting so much effort and work into the relationship and I was burning myself out. And this kept happening over and over again. Even if the relationship started out really amazing and I thought this was the right person then after about 6 months I kept having this same problem. They were just so consumed with their work that I got totally neglected and I felt abandoned.

So after my ex and I broke up in 2017 we went to counseling together as a broken up couple for 7 months.

I figured out that I had been recreating this pattern in all my relationships. I was dating great guys but we kept falling into this same dynamic. And honestly the trigger for this was my abandonment issues. My fear of abandonment led me into relationships with partners that would actually abandon me.

After the 7 months were over we had gotten the love, trust, and intimacy back and we were stronger than ever, but deep down inside I knew he wasn’t my soulmate and we ultimately broke up.  

I still had abandonment issues – and now more so than ever because he literally left me to move to Germany for a new job. The next thing I did was heal myself and specifically my abandonment issues.

What patterns do you face in your relationships over and over again?

How committed are you to eradicating these patterns on a scale of 1-10?

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How to make a relationship work

You need to heal from your past. 

I never thought that I had trauma in my past but in the fall of 2018 I had been dealing with chronic pain in my leg for three years and I was going to all the doctors, seeing a physical therapist, and a massage therapist and literally working on my legs 24/7 to heal myself. 

And then something inside of me clicked and I thought, “what if this is emotional?”

And I used to think that emotional pain meant we were making up pain. But what I realized during this epiphany is that emotional trauma creates pain in our body.

And no matter how long it has been, time does not heal our pain. In fact it creates more pain if we haven’t dealt with this properly. And so I went back into my past and I did the emotional healing work to heal from my ex-husband cheating on me and the trauma I went through when my parents split up. My dad left my mom right after I was engaged to this man that had cheated on me and I stopped believing in marriage. I stopped believing in marriage and yet I was 6 months out from getting married and then I did what any normal 24-year-old would do in this situation, I got married. And I didn’t trust him.

My dad and I had a falling out and we didn’t talk for 6 years. During that time my mom got very sick with cancer and she passed away before her 48th birthday. This made me somehow equate abandonment to death which created even more trauma inside my body.

I never realized all these things and I never realized that I was unhealed from these things. I always thought I didn’t have it that bad or that I was strong and could deal with anything – And I could but I never dealt with it.

So fall of 2018, the pain was so bad and I started doing healing work around these things in my past.

I know my abandonment issues were the key thing that kept coming up in my relationships. We create in our lives what we fear the most.

If you fear being like your dad or your mom, that’s what you’re going to create. If you fear your next relationship being like your last relationship, that’s what you’re going to create. Healing removes that fear.

I created powerful healing exercises that not only have healed my emotional pain, they have healed my physical pain. I am 100% healed and pain free as of the summer of 2019.

I now teach these powerful exercises with my clients. 

What trauma have you been through in your past?

What pain do you consistently have in your body?

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How to make a relationship work when it’s falling apart

You need to change your beliefs. 

I had to change my beliefs. I didn’t know I didn’t believe in love and I didn’t believe in marriage.

But I had stopped believing in marriage when I was about to marry a man that had cheated on me and my dad left my mom for another woman. I just started wondering, “Does marriage really work?”

“Are my expectations for marriage unrealistic?”

“Do you have to turn a blind eye to this behavior to make a marriage work?”

 

And so I stayed in my marriage for 7 years before getting a divorce And then I kept going from relationship to relationship wondering why it didn’t work.

 

But I didn’t believe in marriage. I didn’t realize this at the time but my anger and bitterness and triggers around relationships were all signs that I didn’t believe in marriage.

So if you’re getting triggered by those insta-couples, this may be a sign that you need to change your beliefs around marriage. And the only way to do that is to heal.

 

After I did the healing work, as soon as I realized I didn’t believe in marriage and that THIS was the reason I couldn’t manifest love, I decided to believe. But this couldn’t have happened if I hadn’t done the healing work.

 

Are you triggered by weddings, couples and Insta-couples? 

When did you stop believing? 

What made you stop believing? 

What do you need to heal in order to believe again?

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How to make your relationship work for life

You need to have a soul-led life. 

There’s two ways to live your life, fear-based or faith-based. Fear-based is how most people are living in their life. Fear of the past repeating itself and fear of things going wrong.

And faith-based is knowing that you have the power to change things and being able to live a soul-led life.

When I was living fear-based I had a lot of anxiety around everything I was doing. I was always afraid of making mistakes. I was always afraid of time running out. I was always afraid of loss.

But once I started living a soul-led life this changed everything for me.. I realized I had the power in me to create the life that I wanted. I started believing in myself. I started doing things that made me feel good instead of forcing myself to live a life I didn’t want to live.

Living a soul led life is quite a process to learn when you’ve come from the kind of past we have.

But if you want to manifest your soulmate the only way to do that is to live a soul led life.

Your soul wants you to have all the things including your soulmate. Your soul will lead you to your soulmate and will attract your soulmate to you.

 

Where are you not living a soul-led life?

Where are you not trusting yourself?

What do you need to do to flip the switch and start living a soul lead life?

What area of your life needs the most work? 

What if you do this and your man is still not emotionally available?

When we get into a relationship with someone when we are on healed then we attract somebody who’s unhealed. You may be making these changes and have already been in a relationship. So that means the person that you were in the relationship with was unhealed because you were unhealed.

Your person is going to naturally start to heal as you do this healing work but because you attracted someone that was unhealed it’s going to take a lot more time.

If that person is not your soulmate then that person will naturally start to pull away and you will naturally start to pull away as well.

I don’t know what your exact situation is but just keep doing the work and keep focusing on what you need to do and your soulmate will be attracted to you and the wrong people will start to exit your life. 

 

 

8-Steps to Manifesting: How I went from making nothing last year to exploding my business this year and to now being on track for 1 mill next year…

Business coach

I was exhausted.

And it wasn’t that I couldn’t DO more but my soul REFUSED to do more.

Somewhere deep in my soul, I knew that there was an easier way and my soul just refused to do more.

And I knew the key to leveling up was that it HAD to be easier.

I couldn’t be overworking…

I couldn’t run myself down…

And I had to be fully enjoying my life…

  – vacations

  – time with my soulmate

  – time with my friend and family

  – and time for myself

But how do you work less if you aren’t making enough? Or anything?

 

Here’s the lie/what you can’t do: buckle down and work harder. You cannot in any way give into the lie of ‘buckle down and work harder’

 

If you feel this way you’re doing something wrong. You’re not manifesting. And manifesting means working from your soul.

 

So how do you build and scale a business with more time for yourself?

You have to build a 100% soul-led business.

(You manifest it)

Come on you don’t think that Tony Robbins manifested everything in his life? There’s no way a man can work hard enough to build that kind of empire.

And don’t worry I didn’t believe in manifesting before last year either so I’m approaching this in a very logical grounding way.

So let’s get started.

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Life Coach

If you are not manifesting what you want, you have a block. And while you may go through these 8 steps, if you don’t know what your blocks are or how to find and remove them, you can still be blocked. 

 

Blocks can include: 

 

Inner conflict,

Not healing from their past (watch this training: bit.ly/ftsheal),

Not being clear on where they are (not being honest with themselves),

Not having a clear enough outcome,

Being stuck in perfectionism,

Not feeling good enough, 

Their beliefs, 

Their manifestation isn’t ecological for their life, 

Among many other things.

Some people even get blocked because they stay in search of their blocks, even after they have removed them. People who are addicted to personal development sometimes never reach their end because then their ‘quest’ would end. Sometimes they just need to decide they are done with the struggle. 

 

If you have blocks then deeper work needs to be done and you may need to consider steps beyond this blog post. 

 

If you are serious about manifesting what you want and would like to talk about working together privately over the next 4 months, message me here and ask to set up a call: 

bit.ly/messagenichole

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Manifestation Coach

Here are the 8 Steps to Manifesting. These are the steps I used to manifest my health after 4 years of chronic pain, my future husband and exploding my business to a million dollars.

 

Faith – You have to believe you are the person who does the thing. Who is the person who hits $20k months with ease? You increase your faith, you can have a model in your head of this person and know that you can be that person. 

When I started coaching I hired a mentor who was being the person I wanted to become. She was hitting $20k months with ease. She was transparent with her business model and transparent with the way she lives her life.

Now I get paid to do what I love and I help others do the same. 

 

You can build your belief that it IS possible by finding a model. You need to embody the person who does the thing. When you become the person, you automatically do the thing. 

You have to have a deep faith in yourself and in the universe to support you.

Vision – Without a vision, people perish. You lose drive and desire. You lose hope. This is why you need to have a model for success. You need to build that belief muscle and have a long term vision. 

When I started out I had a vision of being the next Tony Robbins and speaking on stages. But I had short term visions – making enough to quit my software engineering job, launching and filling my courses every month, retiring my husband from his job – all of these ‘smaller’ visions keep me going for the next milestone in my vision.

 

Alignment – 

Alignment means be the type of person who is making $20k months. But it means more than that. You have to be doing what you want to be doing in the way that you want to be doing it. It means don’t do work that you don’t love and don’t take on clients that you don’t love working with. It means don’t undercharge for your work. And it means you have to know who you are and what your soul truly wants. 

 

Energy – To manifest it takes spiritual energy and to have that spiritual energy you need to have physical energy. If you were spending your time exhausting yourself and running yourself down then you won’t have the energy to manifest. You won’t be energetically available for money or whatever you’re trying to manifest if you are wearing yourself down.

 

Obsession – The book, Think and Grow Rich, calls this desire. But I was training for a bodybuilding competition and I was just starting to work out one day and I had about eight weeks left till the competition and I thought, “How am I going to make it through this day and how am I going to make it through the next eight weeks?”

And my answer was, “I have to be so obsessed and in love with training that it doesn’t matter that I still have 8 weeks.”

“In fact, I have to be so obsessed that I’ll even be sad when my competition’s over.”

It was much easier to train with that mindset than with the mindset of “How am I going to make it through this day?”

 

Detachment – As much as you have to be obsessed with the outcome, you have to be detached from it, meaning you can’t be needy with it. So for example, if you need money to pay rent, you have to have faith that it’s going to show up and just be detached from the outcome. So when I was training for my bodybuilding competition in my mind I had already won. It didn’t matter what the judges were going to say. I had a winning mindset months before I walked on stage and whether or not they agreed it didn’t matter. I was a winner in the gym and because I was so detached from the outcome, I did win.

 

Receiving – This is something most of us look at and think, “Oh. No. I’m open to receiving.” But actually, it’s the thing that is a problem until right before you manifest something. So some things to look at here are: Are you overly busy? Are you running yourself down? Are you tired? Do you actually have time and energy for that thing you are calling into your life?

Usually, we don’t want that thing that we say we want. Are you really open to it? Are you open to it now? Are you procrastinating on the work you need to do to manifest it?

You can even desperately need it, but not be open to receiving it. 

Love – Whatever you are manifesting has to come from your heart. I’m not saying you can’t want something, make a plan to get it and still get that thing, if it’s coming from your head (the hustle and grind). But if you are manifesting, it comes from your heart. For example, logically I knew my future husband was in love with me a year ago and that we should be together, but I was in my head about it and it wasn’t until I tapped into the power of my heart that he showed up in my living room wanting to marry me. 

The problem is, we don’t trust ourselves, our dreams and desires or our heart because we’ve been hurt. Maybe we’ve had heartbreak, been through trauma or just need to forgive someone. 

You may need to do some healing to be able to manifest. 

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​We are always achieving, achieving, achieving and we KEEP putting off our happiness – sure we are still ‘happy’ but not really. We keep forcing ourselves to do more and to wait to have what we really want. When we shift this and do something because it makes us happy and we allow good things to come in NOW, everything changes. ​

Listen here->> http://bit.ly/nicholeshow

​To attract what we want, we need to become a vibrational match for what we want. We need to BECOME the person who gets the thing. ​

Listen here->> http://bit.ly/nicholeshow

​We keep creating rules that we need to do this or accomplish that before we can have what we want. These rules WE are creating keep us in and endless loop of never actually getting what we want and keep us from being happy. ​

​Listen here->> http://bit.ly/nicholeshow